It was just the one conversation which ended up following me everywhere I went and somehow, I ended up applying it more and more frequently. Your responsibility is determined by your ability to respond. If you don’t have the ability, you won’t have the responsibility. After that, a small part of life made sense. Sometimes it frustrates me to see people behaving or reacting the way they do and I wonder how people can be so ignorant, but after realising this one thing, it allowed me to live knowing that people will behave in certain ways unknowingly, and where I feel someone should hold responsibility, they simply do not have the ability to and therefore, it is not on them.
We feel disheartened when we don’t see the outcome we once envisioned and as humans we look to put the blame on others. We get frustrated when others don’t live up to our expectations but we fail to realise that some people just don’t have the ability to do certain things. To me, this now means two things.
1. I shouldn’t feel disappointed since others do not have the same values and qualities that I possess, it’s just different and that needs to be accepted
2. That I can’t change or add to people’s abilities if they do not want to learn or change themselves.
For me, this works in the simplest ways. If I’m able to see that I am doing something which may be of help to someone else, it becomes my responsibility. When working closely with a group of individuals who are all so unique, I found one of my abilities lay in starting conversations which would bring people together, so that’s exactly what I did. If I hadn’t done, the outcome would have been a lot different.
Once, we went litter picking and there was a piece that I was able to pick up but chose to ignore. I was so ashamed that I hadn’t fully gotten into the task since it was something so simple. If something so small has the ability to play on my mind, imagine what bigger issues must do to me!
Just realising this, it helped me to make sense that analyse or criticise their abilities. It’s just up to me to continue to expand mine.
Bijal is a Chakra ’16 Intern working with Lightseekers.
The views expressed on this blog are those of the Chakra Intern